It's mine. Well, not really. It isn't the name on my birth certificate. And I'm glad. Allow me to go back, a million years or so (riiiiiiight) and trace the origin of my "name" as I present it on the web.
My given name is Michelle. As a child, I hated my name, and irrationally so. To this day, I cannot recall what it was about "Michelle" that was so awful. Currently, I love my given name, and have for years. At any rate, I wanted to change my name when I was six years old. Fortunately, they don't allow elementary aged children such indulgences. Unfortunately, I had been given a common name, and my name was shortened to "Shelly" for school purposes. I hated it. I have always hated that nickname. I have hated that my given name was so easy to shorten into something that sounded like a joke. I was also irate that I was the Michelle that had to suffer the nickname, while the other girl enjoyed he entire name. But alas, "Shelly" I remained until I graduated high school.
At that point, I did what any college freshman does - I reinvented myself. For me, it was in name only. Other than that, I stayed painfully the same. I changed my last name, and my first name became, very rigidly, Michelle. I, to this date, loathe nicknames. I cringe whenever someone thinks they're cute and gives me one.
After my freshman year, I made the stupendous blunder of getting married. I had no idea what kind of psychosis I was getting into. My husband had decided he was Wiccan, and as such, I was supposed to share this journey with him. We read books, mainly mainstream Wicca fluff, and he insisted I needed to dedicate myself to Wicca with him. The only part of this that was appealing to me was to choose a name. It is believed that choosing a name is part of taking control of your life, your being, and whatnot. Your name, as given to you from your parents, isn't necessarily a reflection of you as a person.
I almost just took Celeste, and then I realized that I was only limited by my imagination - and a traditional name was not required. So I decided on misscelestia. All one word, all lowercase. I actually get annoyed when people erronously capitalize it (although I know they are just trying to be proper or courteous).
I have always been fascinated by..... well, stars. Space. Planets. The irony is I suck at science. I have always looked up at the night sky and thought about what is out there. Not so much in the sense of other life, but more in the sense that the Universe is so large, so beautiful, and I am humbled by it. Sometimes, when I close my eyes at night, I see the stars, and it is so.... comforting.
As time has passed, I have come to realize how much misscelestia means to me. There is a fair amount of foreshadow to the name I had chosen, and I never realized how long this name would stay with me. But, I don't ever want to change it. I have evolved, I have become many things, but I am always misscelestia. Just as much as I am Michelle.
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